Addicted

Hello, my name is William Arsenis, and I’m a thought-a-holic.

Is thought addiction real? Hell, yes.

I mean, who isn’t addicted to thought? Hermits, monks, enlightened dudes and dudettes …I don’t know.

Environment certainly plays a role. If you work in the NYSE, or you’re a pilot, you kind of rely on the thinking, otherwise you could be out of a job, or in the case of a pilot, possibly worse.

So a person could avoid situations, jobs, and lifestyles that require constant thought.

But what about those simple walks or runs? I mean pilots aren’t on duty all the time. Dads and writers get a break too…now and then.

I give myself an hour of me time, and what does my brain do? It generates thought. Thought after thought after thought.

For instance, my current favorite: What am I going to do about my financial situation? I’ve got to fix that. I’ve got free time, away from the baby, so I’ve got to take this opportunity to fix the problem.

And there are always problems to be fixed. An endless supply.

Can I afford to not think about them? To not think at all? Just to be?

I tell myself I cannot.

Too many people rely on me. I’m the breadwinner. The decision maker. Blaa, blaa.

I come up with a ton of reasons to think, to perpetuate thought.

But I’ve been around the spiritual block. I’ve experienced stillness in action. From that awareness, thoughts and worries seem so petty, so very distant. It feels like: “I can’t have been that shallow.”

Oh, but I can, I really can. In fact, I’m great at it.

Because I’m a thought-a-holic.

I least I’m aware of the problem.

It’s up to me do to something about it.

Sometimes I do.

Sometimes I don’t.

I guess you’ve figured out my New Year’s resolution by now. 

:)